POLICE VERSUS UNICYCLE
In the early days of the juggling aware society of christchurch, in the days before they were used to someone (me) riding the open roads on one point, one wheel, on a unicycle, on the balance point, the police would pull me up on the streets and say, "Can I have a go?"
Of course, with great gusto and enthusiasm they tried as hard as they could, but they didn't have a shit show in hell.
It requires a great deal of skill, awareness, high precision control. Only a person who can ride one well, and knows their limitations, or, more correctly, lack of limitations, is entitled to pass judgement or make laws for them. They never would because there wouldn't be any need to! That's the nature of the beast.
One time I was riding my unicycle along Innes Rd in St Albans in Christchurch in peek(!) hour traffic and juggling at the same time, when this cop car pulled me over and the driver got out and came up to me.
I said to him, "Why did you pull me up?" And he said "I don't know how much control you've got on that dammed thing". I told him, "You've got to be joking!" He said , "No, I'm not."
I then said, "Look, I'll tell you a story. This was a couple of months ago, on the road through Hagley Park, up past the hospital, about 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning.
"I was riding my unicycle home and juggling at the same time. There was a bright flashing orange light on the unicycle. Then along came a police car that pulled up in front of me.
The police officer got out of the drivers side door and came storming up to me and said; 'You've got to have a white light on the front and a red light on the back'.
"I said, 'It would be very interesting to see how a unicycle would stand up in a court of law'.
"He then said; 'Someone got done one a while ago'. I said; 'A while ago, you say, was that 6 weeks ago, or 6 years ago, or what? In Christchurch?'
"He said; 'Do you think I'm lying?' I said, 'No, I'm all ears, tell me more.'
"Then he said; 'Well, ride it home on the footpath then.'.
"I asked him what his name and number was. He said his name was Kennedy. The situation did not finish up quite as friendly as I would have liked it to have done.
"On the way home I pondered over how I had handled the situation, and if I were in that predicament again, what I would do.
"Then, lo and behold, about 2 or 3 days later at the same time and place more or less, I was riding home on the unicycle - I wasn't juggling this time, when who should come by, but Mr Plod himself once more.
"I think it was the same guy driving, but I'm not sure.
"I pulled up against his door this time so he couldn't get out. Another Police officer piled out of the passenger seat and came storming up to me.
"I leant against the car still sitting on the unicycle and I thought I'd be a tree for a while. A wild beast won't attack a tree! I just sat there and didn't respond, I just looked at him.
"He got more and more upset and finally said; 'Alright then I'm going to book you.' And he charged back into the car to get his little black book, and came out and said; 'What is your name?'.
"I said; 'Sugra.'. He said; 'Er-Is that your surname or your christian name?' I said; 'Oh, make it my christian name, just call me Sugra the Juggler, There is only one of those in Christchurch.'
"He put his pen and pad down, and I got stuck into him, saying; 'Your job is to keep the peace, as it says in your policeman's oath, and to help make the world a happier place, not to act as an intimidation agency for another agenda.
"'What has happened to the days when the police were there to help the people! I am doing your work for you and you are abusing me!!' He turned round and said; 'You've won me, you've won me!' And I thought 'Shit-hot! Good on you!'
"I had 6 juggling balls in a pouch on my waist, and I said; 'I'll show you some juggling then' So I started juggling and juggled in front of the for the driver, but he just wouldn't respond.
"Then, another cop car with four guys in it pulled up on the other side of the road and did a U-turn over to where we were, and the guy who had been abusing me said to them 'Come on you guys get out of the car and come and watch the juggling!'
"It just so happened that one of those guys could juggle 3 balls, which was quite unusual in those days. This was about 1988. So we had a party in the middle of the street in the middle of the night. The perfect completion. I was flying on my way home that night."
The cop in Innes Rd said; "Kennedy, was it? Which one was it?" I said; "I don't know just ask him he'll remember.". I later found out that one of the Kennedys was a woman. None of them ended up booking me!